


Fifty Shades of Darkness

by angelus2hot



Category: Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Genre: Angst, Community: smallfandomfest, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5858584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelus2hot/pseuds/angelus2hot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fifty Shades of Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> **Title:** Fifty Shades of Darkness  
>  **Fandom:** Fifty Shades of Grey   
> **Characters/Pairing:** Christian Grey/Anastasia Steele  
>  **Rating:** Mature  
>  **Word Count:** 1,104  
>  **Summary:** It's the end.  
>  **A/N:** written for smallfandomfest's fest 18

My world collapses around me as Ana runs toward the elevator searching for a safe haven she no longer finds with me. 

For the first time in my life I’m at a loss. I don’t know how to stop it. _Fuck!_ I hit her with a belt. What the fuck was I thinking? I should have fucking known better. It was too soon. I can’t help but roll my eyes. That was a fucking understatement. She wasn’t ready. Ana hadn’t been anywhere near ready. I should have listened to my instincts but no she offered and I had jumped at the fucking chance.

Even though my heart is in my throat I can’t stop my eyes from feasting on her as she walks toward the elevator. _My God she is breathtaking._ The most beautiful girl in all the world belonged to me and I had to go and fuck it up. _Way to go, dumbass!_ What in the hell was I supposed to do now?

I can’t let her leave. I don’t want to lose her. I take a cautious step forward but she cringes away from me and quickly steps into the elevator. 

My eyes widen and my breath hitches in my throat as Ana stares at me and bites down on her bottom lip. It takes all of my self-control not to groan out loud. She knows what this does to me. _Is she doing it on purpose? Could she be trying to tell me something?_ I know at the moment, all things considered, sex should be the last thing on my mind. But it’s not. Where Ana is concerned my libido is always ready regardless of the circumstances.

I take two steps forward. “Anastasia, I...”

She blanches as I come closer and holds her hand up to stop me. “Please don’t.” Her voice is husky with emotion.

I know she wants me to let her get on the elevator and walk out of my life without saying anything but I can’t. If nothing else I have to tell her how I feel. Shivers of sorrow shoot through me. “I don’t want to lose you.” The words escape my mouth before I can stop them. But then again I don’t even try. Why should I? It’s the truth.

She shook her head sadly, “It’s too late.”

The look of raw pain on her face is almost my undoing. In this moment I know I would do anything at all to wipe that look out of her eyes or to go back and relive the last few hours and to never have put it there to begin with. But what can I do? The better question is what will she allow me to do? “Don’t say that.”

“Why not?” Ana shrugs her shoulders, her eyes dull with defeat and the pain of loss. “It’s the truth, isn’t it?”

My hands clench into fists at my sides, it takes all of my willpower not to pull her off the elevator and into my arms where she belongs. “No, it’s not too late. It will never be too late not unless we want it to be.” I take another cautious step forward. “And I don’t want that. Do you?”

Ana’s eyes are round as saucers as she steps further into the elevator until her back is flush against the wall. She has her arms wrapped around her middle almost as if she is trying to hold herself together.

“Please, baby.”

Her breath catches on a sob. “Christian, please. I can’t....” She swallows hard. “I can’t be what you need.” Ana ignores my sound of protest and continues, “If nothing else tonight has proven I am way out of my league. This....” She waves her arm. “It isn’t me. I’m not the girl you need.”

Before she can say anything else I interrupt. I have to. I refuse to let her continue to believe she isn’t what I need, what I want. I want to laugh at the ludicrous thought. In all my life I have never wanted anything as much as I want Ana. “You are everything I need.”

She rolls her eyes and for a brief moment I want to laugh again but the mirth I feel is quickly swallowed by guilt at the look of horror on her face when she realizes what she’s done and the consequences of her actions. What have I done to this beautiful girl? How can I continue to subject her to my depravity, the depths of which she has only begun to discover? And the answer hits me, as much as it pains me I know she is right. I’m going to have to let her go.

The silence stretches between us as we stare into each other’s eyes, each one lost in the things that could have been and those that almost were.

Unable to stand it any longer I’m the first one to break the silence. “Taylor will see you home.” And with those few short words I stop fighting, stop clinging to the hope for more. It really is over between us.

Almost before I can finish speaking Ana is shaking her head. “There’s no need for....”

“Ana, please.”

She stares into my eyes and whatever she sees there convinces her. “Okay. Thank you.”

I’m in shock. This is the first time Ana has ever given in so easily. And for a brief moment I wonder if we could make it work between us. I shake my head before the thought could take root. 

“I’m sorry.” Those two words couldn’t begin to cover my sorrow at what I have done but it was all I could get passed my constricting throat. I didn’t want to break down in front of her. She didn’t need to know the depths of my pain. Knowing her like I do I know it would only cause her guilt and I’m the only one who should shoulder any blame or guilt for what has happened between us.

“Me too.” The words were whispered so softly I almost didn’t hear them. Ana’s eyes don’t leave mine as she leans forward and pushes the button to take her away from me.

 

As the doors close for the last time on the woman I love I turn and stumble back towards the darkness. My world has ended. I am no longer hovering on the edge of light Ana had begun to paint my word in, there’s nothing but the darkness surrounding me now. A wounded sound is ripped from my throat as I bow my head and give in to the darkness.


End file.
